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LightHearted Musings - We Become What We Think
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on August 17th, 2008
We become what we think about all day long.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was just flashing back to my time working as a waitress to pay my way through college. I was quite the Energizer Bunny during college - still am. I worked about 30 hours a week, graduated college in 3 years instead of the usual 4 or 5, and I still found time to be a Disco Queen at the local nightclub as many nights as I could get there. Needless to say, I was also sometimes extremely tired and overwhelmed! It was during one night when my fatigue and workload had me down that I learned a lesson, one that has stayed with me for almost 30 years.
I was working my waitressing job and really didn’t want to be there. I was tired, my back ached, I had a slew of homework to do, and I was just generally in a terrible mood. I started out the night with the intention of simply surviving it, hoping to hit the pillow as soon as I got out of there. Everything felt like more work than it normally did. The food trays were heavier, the customers were more irritating, the tables were left dirtier - my greatest wish was for everyone to realize that they weren’t hungry after all and just go away. I was not having a good time.
It was then that I passed a mirror and caught a glimpse of my face. Wow, who would want to be around someone with that sour expression?! Who would want to give a tip or lend a hand to someone who was as clearly grouchy as that woman in the mirror was? And the biggest question - who would want to BE that person?!
The answer was, not me. It was one of those moments where everything stands on end, and I made the decision to go back to the dining room with a smile on my face. Did I feel happy at that point? Nowhere near, but I was determined to at least go through the physical motions needed to approximate a smile and let the rest of the night take care of itself. And boy, did it take care of itself!
What happened was that the smile started to wear me instead of me wearing the smile. The more I did it, the better I felt. There was a renewed spring in my step, my tasks became easier and - go figure - those customers were significantly more fun than they had been before. Pretty soon I realized that I had, just by smiling, truly made myself happy. It stopped being an act and fairly quickly became the real deal.
This method certainly doesn’t take the place of deep healing work and it isn’t the answer to all your problems. However, sometimes our negativity is simply a habit, a rut that we have found ourselves stuck in. If we truly do become what we think about all day long, then maybe a smile is as good a way as any to represent who we would like to be.
Dr. Molly
Absolutely! I find this always works and if you smile at others, more often than not, they will smile back. A smile is contagious.
Chris JH
Comment by Christine — August 18, 2008 @ 5:27 am
So true. A while ago, I learned about a ‘half smile’. If you aren’t able to put on a full smile, just curving up the edges of you mouth can even make a difference. It can help raise a low mood. And sometimes it even becomes a full smile. It doesn’t work everytime, but the results are well worth the effort.
Comment by Lisa RP — August 18, 2008 @ 7:19 am
…and as you grow older, you find that the wrinkles on your face are smiley wrinkles rather than frowny wrinkles. If you live are suntanned and happen to stop smiling the wrinkles show white!
Comment by Cordelia Rose — August 18, 2008 @ 8:31 am
I had almost the same experience myself , but in reverse. i was at a restaurant when a waitress with a horrable scowl on her face waited on me. She was polite enough, and the service was OK, but I was glad to eat and leave. It made me see how my expressions effect others, and myself. In general, people that we don’t know realy don’t care how we feel and I got to see how childesh it is to walk around with a sour look. All I was expecting was for someone to make me feel bettet LOL. Wow what a lesson it was for me. Now I try to smile most of the time, And I know I am responsible for my attitude.
Comment by Cheri — August 18, 2008 @ 9:05 am
When we transform ourselves with the smile from the inside out, then others cannot help but be transformed also.
Thanks for sharing your story, Molly.
Comment by natalie — August 18, 2008 @ 10:05 pm
LightHearted Musings - We Think What We Become…
Bookmarked your post over at Blog Bookmarker.com!…
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