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LightHearted Musings - We Belong to Each Other
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on September 19th, 2008
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
–Mother Teresa
When I was younger, I really thought I wasn’t going to live past the age of 30, and I am amazed at how many others of my age had the same thought. You have to wonder what that kind of impending doom does to the human psyche.
I and others like me were convinced that we would all be blown up in a nuclear storm long before we would have a chance to grow old and die peacefully in our beds. This was during the 60’s and 70’s, when we were full force into our Cold War with the Soviet Union, when we were told that this “Evil Empire” on the other side of the world was just itching to blow us off the face of the planet. We were told that we were the good guys and they were the bad ones, that they couldn’t be trusted, had no morals or conscience, and wanted only war and destruction.
There was much talk of impending nuclear war and of our leaders having their fingers on the trigger of worldwide destruction. We saw what a nuclear blast did to cities and people in those famous newsreels, we saw movies depicting people who went crazy and set off a nuclear ping pong match that nobody could possibly win, we heard in great detail what a nuclear winter would be like, we saw the news where the latest conflict was splashed all over the headlines whipping up fear, we heard the concern in our parents voices when they discussed these issues – our impending death was clearly right around the corner. And I always knew, even as a young child, that our “Duck and Cover” nuclear blast drills at school wouldn’t save anyone. How is a cafeteria table going to guard me from a radioactive blast? Might as well face it head on and get the dying over with quickly. Those were my 10-year-old thoughts, and 10-year-olds all over the country were right there with me on the firing line.
Well go figure, here I still am, now well into the second half of my 40’s, still intact and free of radioactive contaminants. The dreaded “Big Bang” didn’t happen, I grew up, got well past 30 (!), fell in love, got married, had children, and now our first child has just gone off to college. All my body parts are intact and my kids have no idea what “Duck and Cover” might refer to.
We are now friends with the Russians, and (who knew!) we found that they were just like us, with all the same fears, stresses, joys, loves, and hopes that we have. Sure, there are some bad guys in the bunch, but we have some of those ourselves. The majority of them are good, kind, decent, loving people who want peace and harmony in their lives. They had been hearing the same demonizing words about us, and to them, we were the “Evil Empire.” All it took was for us to talk with them for a while to find out how much we have in common.
Now I hear some of the same talk about the newest in a long line of bad guys, those in the Middle East. I hear that they are just itching to blow us off the face of the planet, how they have no conscience, honor or sense of right and wrong. Those in the Middle East are hearing the same words said about us, and to them, we are the “Evil Empire.” I hear our leaders demonizing those from the Middle East, and yet when I meet them, (go figure!) they are kind, peace loving, want only the best for their families and want to do right by the world. Some of them are bad guys, but then so are some of us. Just like our new friends, the Russians, and just like us, most of them want peace and harmony in their lives as well.
I see us all as more similar than different on so many levels. As a physician, I know that 99.4% of our DNA is the same in every human being on this planet. I see that we all come from a common ancestral line and as such, we are all brothers and sisters in our humanity. We are a family, dysfunctional though we may be at times, but one worth working on to find more peace in our interactions. Just like family, we are all connected, and our countries can’t harm one another without harming themselves in the process. The same goes for us individually, something that is important to consider the next time you want to yell at your spouse or cut someone off in traffic.
On an emotional level, our needs for safety, physical comfort, love, fellowship, fulfillment, and understanding are common to all. So said the old woman in Egypt who asked my daughter to tell those in America that she wasn’t evil at all, that most people in the Middle East want to live their lives happily and peacefully just like everyone else. So said those people in our group workshops who commented on how surprised they were that another group member was so similar to them when all they saw at first were their differences.
On a more cosmic level, I see us all as children of God, all with that spark of the Divine within us. It is that Divine essence that unites us, makes us all One in a far deeper sense than those words can adequately convey. We are all connected to each other and we all have our parts to play in this great collective World that we share. Violence toward one person on this planet energetically creates a ripple effect that harms everyone else. Harming another because they are different is just as irrational as if I cut off my arm simply because it was different from my leg. This recognition of our divine unity is what we need to tap into in order to honor and cherish each other and bring peace to our world.
So much of our collective time over the past millennia has been spent in figuring out how we are different and then attacking that difference in others. It has been the basis of all our wars and conflict. I wonder how much better our world and our future would be if we all just stopped with the demonizing, with the “us vs. them” mentality, with the thought that those “others” couldn’t possibly be like us. I am so dearly ready to hang up the concept of “Evil Empire.” I am so ready to focus on what we all have in common and to highlight our similarities instead of our differences. I am so ready for my children and my children’s children to assume that they will grow old and die peacefully in their beds. I am so, so ready for a more peaceful world.
If you have been overwhelmed by the events of the world, then consider bringing these words into your heart and letting them roll around in there for a while. I know I am not alone in this peaceful wish, and if you are a compatriot in these personal and cosmic hopes and dreams, then please share your thoughts here.
Dr. Molly
LightHearted Musings - History is a Vast Early Warning System
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on September 12th, 2008
History is a vast early warning system
-Norman Cousins
Don’t you just love this quote? I do, partly because I’m a history buff (history nut I sometimes say). I think that every Presidential candidate should be a history nut as well. If they were, we would avoid tremendous amounts of pain, war and anguish.
Our ancestors are our greatest teachers, not because they were more brilliant or more noble. In fact, they were no different from you or me, making decisions to the best of their ability and not knowing what impact their decisions would have on the future. They are our teachers simply because they have already blazed the trails of both success and failure. We waste so much of our time reinventing the wheel when all we need to do is turn around to see that wheel already made and waiting for us to make use of it.
There are very few problems in this life that haven’t already happened in some similar form in the past. I will stand by this statement even with the tremendous technological advances that we are all living through because most of our contemporary problems are still mainly related to how well we get along with each other. This is an area with some of our greatest failures, but ironically, it’s also the area where we most shine. We could save ourselves a lot of time and heartache by studying the successes and failures of those who have come before us in order to learn how to “do life well.”
No matter how well we do with this challenge, we will most certainly be our children’s teachers. We are all quite literally the future’s ancestors. So what do you want your own legacy to be?
Dr. Molly
LightHearted Musings - The Cure of Many Diseases is Unknown to Physicians
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on September 7th, 2008
The cure of many diseases is unknown to physicians…They are ignorant of the whole which ought to be studied also, for the part can never be well unless the whole is well. This is the great error of our day in the treatment of the human body, that the physician separates the soul from the body.–Plato
When I was a little girl, my doctor was a woman named Mary Saxe, M.D. and what a character she was! Dr. Saxe had been my mother’s doctor when she was young, and she then became my doctor until I reached adulthood. She had literally known my family for 3 generations, and her interactions with us reflected every facet of that familiarity.
Dr. Saxe’s office was in the poorest area of the city. She was aware that these were people whom others had thrown away and she wanted to be of help. If you sat outside her office for any length of time, you would think you were hearing two different people in the next room. One moment, she would loudly and forcefully yell at someone for not taking their medicine and the next, she would be lovingly hugging somone who was going through a rough time. She would minister to all of us with her unique blend of anger and love, and her patients absolutely loved her for it.
By the time I knew her, she was an old woman. Dr. Saxe had been trained in a man’s world in the early 1900s, when she was one of the very first women of her time to receive her M.D. degree. She had to be tough to get through that type of medical gauntlet, and tough she most certainly was!
Dr. Saxe could be incrediby gruff, like when she knew I wasn’t going to listen to her advice. If she thought I was whining about a problem that was in my control to fix, she would berate me…and she was quite a powerful force when she was in berating mode! I remember being more than a little afraid of displeasing her and inciting her wrath. She expected more from me than I expected from myself, and she would push and prod to get me to recognize that I had it in me to be…whatever I wanted to be.
And yet…she could also be incredibly kind and insightful. She would come to my home to minister to me when I was really sick, would see how I was living and how I got along with my parents and brothers, would comment on the posters I chose to put on my wall, would pay attention to who I was and how I was doing in my own world. When she knew I was hurting, really hurting either physically or emotionally, all that gruffness would simply melt away and I would be the lucky recipient of the full force of her love and attention.
She knew me in all my dimensions, mind, body and soul, my family make-up and dynamics, my joys, hopes and fears. She ministered to all those parts of what made me whole and recognized that the body was just one piece of the puzzle to full health. Dr. Saxe had the unique gift of fully accepting me while at the same time continually challenging me to live my life fully.
There is something about this quote from Plato that always brings me back to my memories of Dr. Saxe. She got through the medical system that insisted on toughness and compartmentalization of the body from the soul, and she managed to “do it her own damn way,” to express by example the true meaning of healing. She recognized that our health is related to all the wondrous aspects of our life, that physical health was only the tip of the iceberg for a life full of joy and vitality. In so many ways, she was my inspiration, and it was my great honor to learn these lessons at the feet (and sometimes under the feet!) of a master holistic healer. Plato and Dr. Saxe - may they both live among the angels!
Dr. Molly
LightHearted Musings - Nothing I Can’t Handle
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on August 28th, 2008
I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.
–Mother Teresa
I chose this quote for a very special reason. When Mother Teresa died, news came about the crisis of faith that dogged her for several decades. Soon after she went to India to minister to the poor and forgotten, she stopped hearing the Divine guidance that she had always heard up to that time. She felt separate from her God, like she no longer had Spirit walking with her in her life. She struggled with this separation privately while being a paragon of faith in the public’s eye. Her comment about wishing God didn’t trust her so much has a whole new meaning when viewed from this perspective, and I have even more respect for her now than I did before.
Her ability to carry on without any spiritual feedback must have been quite a daunting task, and her determination to keep going is a testament to her fortitude and faith. I have to wonder, though, what would have happened if she had taken this out of the shadow of her life and faced it more directly. Could she have found that spiritual connection again, that connection that had given her so much life, guidance and joy?
In 1999, I had an injury to my neck that paralyzed my arms for a while and caused great pain for several years afterward. I got quite an education in Spirit during that time, and I recognized myself in Mother Teresa’s words.
Before then, I had always felt like I was surrounded by Spirit. It was as natural a feeling as wearing clothes, wrapped in loving energy from some force connected to but outside of myself. I felt eternally nurtured by this, and my communication with the Divine felt like a personal conversation between friends.
When I injured my neck, though, I found that the incredible screaming pain I was dealing with day in and day out simply drowned out my spiritual connection. All of a sudden, I felt like I was on my own, and it was truly the most lonely experience of my life. I had always assumed that I would be able to rely on Spirit when the going got tough, and yet, here I was in the most painful experience of my life, and Spirit was nowhere to be found. I remember hearing myself quote Jesus’ words on the cross, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”
I found it hard to articulate this experience with others, and much of this internal torment was dealt with in the privacy of my own psyche. Many others who have come to see me in my practice have related to this feeling of being abandoned by Spirit at the worst of times. It is such a personal experience that many never talk about it, making it even more of a lonely time for them.
Several months into my ordeal with partial paralysis and pain, I discovered Shamanic healing techniques purely by synchronicity. I went to a one-hour lecture on the subject that ended in a short, 10-minute journey that was life-changing for me. A Shamanic journey is a deep meditative technique that very quickly gets you out of your head and into your heart and opens you to healing and new insights.
During my first journey, Spirit came back in full force, saying that I now understood pain and despair on a deep level that I never could have gotten to without having fully experienced it. This would be helpful both in my healing work and in my own personal growth. I was told that I was never far from Spirit, especially during the worst of times. My shamanic pursuits since then have given me additional tools to help me tap in whenever I need a boost from Spirit or need to gain insight into the challenges of my life. Shamanism was clearly the next step in my spiritual evolution, though I am aware that others will find their own unique solutions. I was able to find a new dialogue with the Divine, one that sent me on the most powerful internal growth experience of my life. I can now truthfully say that it was all worth the journey.
Mother Teresa’s difficulties leave me with a lot of questions. I wonder what would have happened if Mother Teresa had been more open about her spiritual difficulties during her life? What if this had been something she could have explored within herself without worrying about how the whole world was going to react? What kind of impact would her struggle have had on those who are dealing with the same struggle in their own lives? I wonder what would have happened if she had gone for a full physical and nutritional work-up to make sure her biochemistry wasn’t creating a block in her spiritual channels.
What if she had explored other avenues for finding communication with her spiritual guidance instead of relying on the prayer that was no longer working for her those last 40 years of her life? I’m not talking about her changing religions, since there are several forms of meditation and spiritual communication within the Catholic Church that might have been helpful to her. Though I have great respect for her life journey and dedication, I wonder if she gave up on her ability to tap into her spiritual connection too soon, without exploring every possible channel to the Divine. Instead of God trusting her to press on, might God have been trusting her to keep searching?
These are strange things to hear myself saying about an icon like Mother Teresa, but her struggle does, after all, highlight her humanity. I can’t answer these questions for her and it isn’t my place to try, but the questions themselves are worthy ones to ask. If you are struggling with a loss of spiritual connection of your own, then these questions may have meaning to you as well - how would you like to answer them?
Dr. Molly
LightHearted Musings - Moving Mountains One Stone At A Time
Posted by Dr. Bruce Roberts on August 24th, 2008
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
-William Faulkner
I once read a wonderful little book called “The Gap” that says that the world is basically divided into two groups: those who look to the horizon and make themselves miserable because they can never reach their goal and those who look over their shoulder and celebrate just how far they have come. I happen to be a card carrying member of the first group, but am fortunate to be married to the president of the second group!
For those of you, like me, who happen to be perfectionists, the work ahead can seem daunting indeed! You see, no matter how much progress we make, the horizon remains unreachable and unattainable. We are guaranteed failure and are destined to a life of misery.
I guess I was hoping that if I stuck it out long enough, there would be some type of retirement benefit at the end, perhaps a Martyr’s Pension Plan. If you are already a member of this group (and you know who you are), I’m here to tell you it’s not too late. You can tender your resignation at any time. The pension plan does not exist - there are no benefits!
If you are a member of the second group, congratulations! You have discovered the secret to a life of joy. You have learned to celebrate every little step along the journey and can marvel at how far you have come. It is, after all, in the journey, not the destination, that true happiness resides.
If you are still struggling in group #1 I have good news for you. I checked with President Molly and am told that they are holding open enrollment! It turns out that there is enough joy and happiness for all of us!! I hear that all you have to do to enroll is to begin moving a few small stones and then simply remember to look back to celebrate how big your pile has become! What could be easier? I think I’ll sign up today!!
Dr. Bruce
LightHearted Musings - We Become What We Think
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on August 17th, 2008
We become what we think about all day long.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was just flashing back to my time working as a waitress to pay my way through college. I was quite the Energizer Bunny during college - still am. I worked about 30 hours a week, graduated college in 3 years instead of the usual 4 or 5, and I still found time to be a Disco Queen at the local nightclub as many nights as I could get there. Needless to say, I was also sometimes extremely tired and overwhelmed! It was during one night when my fatigue and workload had me down that I learned a lesson, one that has stayed with me for almost 30 years.
I was working my waitressing job and really didn’t want to be there. I was tired, my back ached, I had a slew of homework to do, and I was just generally in a terrible mood. I started out the night with the intention of simply surviving it, hoping to hit the pillow as soon as I got out of there. Everything felt like more work than it normally did. The food trays were heavier, the customers were more irritating, the tables were left dirtier - my greatest wish was for everyone to realize that they weren’t hungry after all and just go away. I was not having a good time.
It was then that I passed a mirror and caught a glimpse of my face. Wow, who would want to be around someone with that sour expression?! Who would want to give a tip or lend a hand to someone who was as clearly grouchy as that woman in the mirror was? And the biggest question - who would want to BE that person?!
The answer was, not me. It was one of those moments where everything stands on end, and I made the decision to go back to the dining room with a smile on my face. Did I feel happy at that point? Nowhere near, but I was determined to at least go through the physical motions needed to approximate a smile and let the rest of the night take care of itself. And boy, did it take care of itself!
What happened was that the smile started to wear me instead of me wearing the smile. The more I did it, the better I felt. There was a renewed spring in my step, my tasks became easier and - go figure - those customers were significantly more fun than they had been before. Pretty soon I realized that I had, just by smiling, truly made myself happy. It stopped being an act and fairly quickly became the real deal.
This method certainly doesn’t take the place of deep healing work and it isn’t the answer to all your problems. However, sometimes our negativity is simply a habit, a rut that we have found ourselves stuck in. If we truly do become what we think about all day long, then maybe a smile is as good a way as any to represent who we would like to be.
Dr. Molly
LightHearted Musings - We Are All Connected
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on August 10th, 2008
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
–A.A. Milne
Before birth our soul exists in an energetic realm where everything is connected. When we incarnate into physical form we often lose that sense of connection to our source as we replace it with a connection to our parents and our families.
Then, through the process of separation and individuation we begin to explore and express our unique gifts and talents, reinforcing our sense of ourselves as separate from each other. As important as this process is, we can also be left with a deep sense of isolation and longing, which we attempt to fill through our work, our relationships, our lovemaking, or our addictions.
It is very easy as we go through our busy lives, to forget who we really are. We forget that we are spiritual beings and that we are always connected to each other and to our source.
Sometimes we can reconnect to our source through meditation or prayer.
And sometimes, like Piglet, all we need is a simple reassurance: “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
Dr. Bruce
LightHearted Musings - Keep Your Thoughts Positive…
Posted by Dr. Molly Roberts on August 3rd, 2008
Keep your thoughts positive because they become your words
Keep your words positive because they become your behaviors
Keep your habits positive because they become your values
Keep your values positive because they become your destiny.
–Mahatma Gandi
When I read this quote, I had mixed emotions. On one side, I can practically taste the optimism and truth in Gandhi’s words, and my own natural optimism gets a little juicy infusion of positive intention. This is how I have lived much of my life. It has helped me to feel good about the life I have lived so far, and it has helped steer me in the direction that does feel like my destiny.
On the other side, though, I wonder if this is too simplistic, if it misses a piece of the rich tapestry of life that gives texture to our existence. That piece is found when we explore our shadow aspects, those parts of our psyche that we keep hidden both from ourselves and from others. If we are living only in the land of the positive, we may not be willing to go down there and explore around, and we may therefore miss out on finding those jewels hidden in the shadows.
These shadows may be our fears, our traumas, or our inadequacies, but they could just as easily be our brilliance, our love, or our passion. The shadow is anything that needed to go underground within you so that you could survive your childhood or adult life. What is hidden in your shadow is often your brightest light, and it sometimes takes some scrounging around in the muck to find it. Releasing that light can be an incredibly freeing and joyful experience.
When the shadow is a trauma or fear, then keeping something this big down in the shadows takes a lot of psychic energy that could be better used to bring you more joy and vitality. Bringing it forward releases that energy and gives you a chance to heal that wound and finally let it go.
There is great value in making your life an open book to yourself. When there are shadow aspects that are not being dealt with, then these shadows will start to trip you up in ways that you won’t understand or anticipate. Focusing on both the shadow and the light therefore makes it even more possible to live by Mahatma Gandhi’s words. When you deal with your own complexity and harmonize your inner world, these words of outer action will then become simple again. We wish you well in living your own positive destiny.
Dr. Molly
